FAMOUS FATHERS-THEIR FAITH AND DUTIES

By Pastor Glenn Pease

 

CONTENTS

 

1. THE FIRST FATHER Based on Gen. 4:1-8, 25-26

2. THE FATHER OF THE FUTURE Based on Gen. 7:1-12

3. A FATHER'S FEARS Based on Judges 13:1-13, 24

4. A SUPPORTIVE FATHER Based on Judges 13:1-14, 24

5. FATHER AND DAUGHTER Based on Esther 2:5-11

6. A FULL TIME FATHER Based on Job 1:1-5

7. THE DUTIES OF DADS Based on Prov. 23:13-28

8. THE FATHER'S JOB Based on Luke 15:11-32

9. THE PRODIGAL'S FATHER Based on Luke 15:11-32

 

 

 

 

1. THE FIRST FATHER Based on Gen. 4:1-8, 25-26

Ronald and Nancy Reagan had something in common in their childhood, and that was that they both had fallen fathers. When Ron came home one day as an 11 year old boy he found his father flat on his back on the front porch, and there was no one there to help. He said, "He was drunk, dead to the world. I stood over him a minute or two. I wanted to let myself into the house and go to bed and pretend he wasn't there..."

Nancy's experience was even worse. She writes in her autobiography, "I was told as a child my father wasn't at the hospital when I was born. It must have hurt mother as much as it did me when I heard about it. I have no idea how old I was before he saw me for the first time, but I visited him only a few times over the years before he died in the 1960's. He was my father but I somehow never could think of him that way because there had never been any relationship of any kind."

Alcoholism and abandonment was is what our former President and his wife remember about fatherhood. But it is a mistake to conclude that only those who are themselves failures are fallen fathers. The record of the Bible and history will not support such a conclusion. Being a good father is job that even the most successful of men fail at. The West German Industrialist Friedrick Flick was a business genius who built an empire of 300 firms, and a personal fortune of over a billion dollars. But he had one very conspicuous shortcoming. He could not control his own children. Success in any area of life is not guarantee that a man will not fail and foul out as a father.

David was one of the most successful men of the Bible. He was a man after God's own heart, and he led Israel to power and wealth, but he left behind a family all messed up because of his failure as a father. Eli the great priest had sons that would be a disgrace to a pornographer because they sexually assaulted women as they came to worship. The list could go on and on, but the point is not to make fatherhood depressing, but to see that it has always been hard to be a successful father. There is hope for success, however, even in this difficult business of being a dad. We want to look at both the hardness and the hope in fatherhood by looking at the life of Adam. We want to look at him from 3 perspectives.

I. ADAM AS THE FIRST FATHER.

Adam was at one time the only father on the face of the earth. He had no Dr. Spock, and even if he did there was no one to call for help. There were no books or articles, nor any examples to follow. He could not reflect and say this is how my father would deal with me in this situation. Adam had no training to be a father. Most of us at least saw a baby before we became fathers, but not Adam. He was the first man to ever see a baby born. You think its scary now, but what must it have been for a man who had no experience whatever?

Somehow Adam managed and everybody survived. The male population of the world was doubled in one day. Now there was another potential father on earth, and this baby did become the second father in history, but Cain also became the first to murder. This did not do anything to enhance the record of the first father. We will look at this further in the next point. But what we learn from this experience of the first father is that fatherhood has different stages, and some of them are easy and some are hard.

Cain, as a newborn baby, was without a doubt the delight of Adam and Eve. He was the first baby; the first toddler; the first to talk and walk, and do all the things that make children so enjoyable. It seems hard to have small children, but this is really the easy time. When precious little Cain grows up he will become a pain. He ended up killing their second born. Adam had a host of unusual and unrepeatable experiences as the first father. For one thing, he was only one year older than his first baby himself in terms of time. Adam was only created about a year before Cain was born. Nobody has ever had this experience. Then, he of course was also the first grandfather, great grandfather, and great great and so on and on. Adam was the first in many ways and no one can ever take these titles away from him.

What we need to see here is that every human being who has ever lived came out of the body of Adam. He is literally the father of every person ever born. Eve was taken out of his body and so there is not even one exception. Not even Jesus, for he has called the second or last Adam. He to came into a body who came from the seed of Adam. The entire human race is an extension of the body of Adam. He was the first father of all, and the father of all first.

As the first father he was also the first father to ever lose a child to death. Millions have since then, but Adam was the first, and this is one of the hard parts of fatherhood. Daniel Webster, the eloquent orator, got a letter in his senate office telling of his son being killed in the Mexican War. He wrote to his second son and said, "I hardly know how I shall keep up under this blow. I have always regarded it as a great misfortune to out live my children, but the will of heaven be done in all things."

From the first family in this world until today the loss of a child has been one of the hardest burdens to bear. Our heavenly Father entered into this heaviest of burdens, and He endured the loss of His Son to death. He was the one Father who did not ever need to experience this suffering, but he chose it freely that Adam and all the father of history might, like David, have hope of seeing and being with their lost children forever, by faith in that Son of God who died that all might live. Next we look at-

II. ADAM AS THE FALLEN FATHER.

Adam was an ideal man, but he fell before he became a father so that when Cain was born Adam not only became the first father, but he became the first fallen father. This means there has never been a time in the history of man when there was a perfect father. The heavenly Father was always there, but there has never been an unfallen human father. The only one who could have changed this was Jesus, but He never became a father, and so we are stuck with this reality.

There was once an ideal man and woman. There was once an ideal environment. But there has never been ideal relationship of parent and child, because there has never been an ideal parent. This could lead to pessimism if there was no good news to balance things out. We could end up thinking like Lord Chesterfield who said, "As fathers commonly go, it is seldom a misfortune to be fatherless; and considering the general runs of sons, as seldom a misfortune to be childless." There is much evidence to support his negative conviction in a fallen world with nothing but fallen fathers and children.

It is a reality that we have to face up to, for all the notable fathers of the Bible had a very mixed record of success. It was not just Adam who had good and bad children. Look at Abraham the father of the faithful. His boys Isaac and Ishmael fought as boys, and their descendants, the Jews and Arabs, have kept the whole world under tension to the modern day. David had sons who raped, murdered, and led rebellion against him. Even his favorite son Solomon, who became such a notable success, also led Israel into idolatry because of his many foreign wives. In the New Testament the most notable father is the father of the Prodigal. He was a good and righteous man, but he had one son who was a rebel, and the other was a spoiled snob.

The point is, the easy part of fatherhood is when children are babies and young. Adam, no doubt, had a ball with his little Cain, for this was the joyful part of fatherhood. But when a child grows up to be independent fathers feel the burden of their role. How can they keep their children on the right path? Adam couldn't do it, and most of the fathers of the Bible could not do it. Cain became his deepest pain, and as a fallen father Adam learned by experience how God was hurt by his own disobedience. When a father sees a son rebel and hurt everyone he loves, then a father begins to taste of the pain of God. It is a terrible way to get an education in the depth of spiritual pain, but there are few fathers who escape this lesson in suffering.

Is there any value in such pain? Yes there is, for it makes the fallen father realize that the only solution to the fall of man is grace. You can't beat sin out of man, nor can you teach it out, or train it out. The only answer is forgiveness. God forgave Adam, and one of the most amazing stories of grace we have in the Bible is God's preservation of Cain. If capital punishment was ever called for, it was in the case of Cain. But God put a mark on Cain to protect him so that no one would kill him. To do so would result in suffering vengeance 7 times over. The only ultimate answer to sin is forgiveness. There is no other way to get rid of it. It is the only answer of the heavenly Father, and it is the only answer the fallen father has that will make a difference in the world, and in their families. Forgiveness was the only reason the family of man survived, and the only way any father can keep his family alive is by the power of forgiveness. Adam knew how to receive it and give it, and this leads to our third point-

III. ADAM AS THE FAITHFUL FATHER.

We do not have a lot of evidence to evaluate the family life of Adam, but what little we do have is quite revealing as to his positive role as the father of human family. He was down, but not out. He did not say that this is such a lousy world to raise kids in that he refused to have them. He obeyed God's command to be fruitful and reproduce. We do not know how many children he had, but with the three clearly named and then the general statement that he had other sons and daughters, we have an absolute minimum of 7, and it was likely much higher than that. It could have been dozens.

His record of faithfulness to his family is unsurpassed. Adam was married to the same woman for 930 years. This was the longest marriage in history. Methuselah lived 39 years longer than Adam, but he did not get married and have his first child until he was 187, and so he was no where near the record of Adam. This means also that Adam was a father longer than any other man who ever lived. But more important, his fall did not make him the scum of the earth. He was not a bad man, nor a bad father. He was fallen and not perfect, but a fallen and imperfect father can still do a lot of things right, and Adam did.

He saw to it that his two boys got a religious education. Both Cain and Able grew up and brought offerings to the Lord. They were taught to honor God and make sacrifice to Him. Adam saw to it that his boys learned a positive respect for their Creator. To be sure, Cain was only externally respectful while his heart was far from God, but he knew the right way. Able was the righteous son, and he did what was pleasing to God. It was a 50-50 ratio of success and failure for Adam. The point is, he made sure that his children knew the way that was pleasing to God. A father cannot impose his faith on his children and make them love and honor God, but he can make sure that that option is one of their choices. If they do not take the right choice, the father has still fulfilled his role.

Some fathers are blamed for their sons bad choices, but Adam is not blamed for the evil choice of Cain. We can't say Adam left him such a poor example that it was inevitable that he went the wrong way. Able did not go that way, but went the way he was taught. We have every reason to believe that Adam was a great father, and was one who lived his life in fellowship with God, and in obedience to His will. He fell, but he did not go on in rebellion. He was grateful for God's guidance, and when he saw Eve bring forth another son he acknowledged God as the giver of this new life to replace the son he had lost.

It was the line of Seth that brought forth the righteous in a world of great corruption. Enoch who walked with God and the righteous Noah whom God used to preserve the human race were just two examples.

Adam produced the fallen race, but he also produced the righteous race of those who sought to live in obedience to God. There is no escape being the evidence, for he was a fallen but nevertheless a faithful father, and he did a great job of teaching and being an example of righteousness. In Gen. 5:3 we have this interesting text that says Adam was 130 years old when Seth was born, and it stresses that this son was in his likeness, and in his own image. Seth apparently looked just like Adam. This was not said of his first 2 boys. He was a chip off the old block, and this was a great encouragement to Adam. Some of him would live on in his son even though he knew he had to die because of his sin. Fathers love it when their children look like him. Richard Armour wrote-

My day-old is plenty scrawny,

His mouth is wide with screams, or yawny,

His ears seem larger than he's needing,

His nose is flat, his chin's receding,

His skin is very, very red,

He has no hair upon his head,

And yet I'm proud as proud can be,

To hear you say he looks like me.

Adam was proud of Seth and rightly so, for Seth carried on the tradition of his faithful father, and he was a righteous man in a fallen world. It is very good news that it is possible to be a major force for good in a world that you have made so bad yourself. All of us are spotted with adamic muck. We have contributed t the fallenness of our world. We have all been part of the problem, but by the grace of God we can still be part of the answer, and a major part of the answer is in being a faithful father. Just hanging in there trying to have an impact on our children's lives, even when some of them are, like Cain, going off the deep end of rebellion, is what being a faithful father is all about.

When you have two sons and one becomes a homicide victim, and the other is the murderer, you would have a tendency to call it quits on the role of fatherhood. Adam did not choose defeat in this pessimistic situation. He said I will try again, and because he was faithful there was a line of the human race worth saving when God judged the world. Had Adam given up on fatherhood because of failure it would have been the end of history for man. We are ultimately saved by the last Adam, the Lord Jesus, but let's not forget there would have been nobody to save had it not been for the faithfulness of the first Adam.

Adam is just a prime example of what God can do through a fallen father who will be faithful in spite of his fallenness. Fathers can have such a powerful influence on the future because of how they impact their children. All of Cain's line perished in the flood, but the line of Seth survived, because even a fallen father can have a powerful impact on the future.

However you may find fault with the Bible movies of Cecil B. De Mille you can't escape the fact that he has made parts of the Bible well known to millions who otherwise may never have known a thing about the Bible. His father use to read a chapter of the Old Testament and the New Testament to him every night. He read to make an impact on his son, and this he surely did. De Mille reflecting on his father's reading wrote, "He painted a great picture as he read, and the picture came to life before your eyes. Some of those pictures I brought to life again in later years. I have been able to recreate them on the screen." A fallen father faithful in is honoring of the Word of God will have an impact on His children for good.

Some of the greatest influence for the good of the family in our world today are the result of fallen fathers who were nevertheless faithful fathers. Dr. James Dobson is one of the most notable. He says his father had all kinds of faults, but he also said this at his father's funeral. "This man whose body lies before me was not only my father and my friend, but he was also the source of great inspiration for me. Few people realize that most of my writings are actually and expression of his views and his teachings. Whenever we were together, he would talk and I usually took notes. That's the kind of relationship we had, and his loss is devastating to me." I can imagine Seth saying something like that at Adam's funeral.

It is true that we must trace the fall of man to Adam, and there is no way to minimize the harm he brought to the human race by his sin. But the fact remains that somebody has to have been an example of righteousness in that beginning generation, and the evidence points to Adam. God used His influence to send through history a line of fallen but faithful people whom God used to accomplish His purpose. There is not another sin recorded in the life of Adam after his fall. His wife stayed with him for 930 years, and he taught his children to honor God. The message of his life is that fathering is hard, failure is easy, but never give up, for fallen though we be, God can use our faithfulness to accomplish His purpose in the world.

 

 

 

 

 

2. THE FATHER OF THE FUTURE Based on Gen. 7:1-12

It is tough to be a father in this world where everything is changing so fast. In Africa the custom of selling the bride to her future husband has been challenged for sometime by Christian daughters. They feel it is a evil custom to be sold like an object to the highest bidder. They have organized protest groups, and Christian girls have been defying their fathers and refusing to marry for money. The old people try to frighten the young by saying, "Your children will be born deformed if the price is not paid," but the better educated younger generation are not falling for that scare tactic.

So you have fathers caught in a world of transition where the old just doesn't work anymore and the new is so different that it is frightening. Every father on the planet faces some of this tension, but we want to look at the father who faced the most radical transition of history. Noah saw the whole world of his day disappear, and he was left as the only father on the planet. He had to begin a whole new world with his family. No father in history ever carried a heavier load of responsibility than did Noah.

Adam and Noah are the only two men in history who have this distinction of being the only father in the world in their time. None of the three sons who were near 100 years old had any children, and in spite of a year on board the ark none of them became a father during that long ordeal. This was clearly not a love boat cruise. We do not know if they had some birth control method, or if God just closed up their wombs to prevent any children being born on the ark. They all had good size families after the ark landed, and so there was no problem of infertility. So what we have here is an example of family planning. Either by their own wisdom, or by God's providence they postponed their families until the circumstances were favorable.

We read in Gen. 11:10 that Shem waited 2 years after the flood to begin his family, and he was 100 years old. His descendants had their children in their 20's or 30's, but he waiting until they were settled, even in his old age. So we see that the whole issue of family planning is based on the circumstances. There is no support for the thinking that it is such an evil world to bring a child into that people should not have children. If Noah would have thought that way, we never would have heard of him, and he would not have become the father of the future. Noah had children in the worst of times, for they were the only hope of bad times better. There is biblical support for not having kids because the world is evil. However, there is support for not having children when there is grave danger, and their presence would be a threat to themselves and the well being of their parents.

If you study the ages of the fathers in the Bible, you discover that those who waited for the right time were often the best fathers. Older fathers are not looked down on, but are heroes in the Bible. Noah is the prime example. If you study chapter 5, you will see the record of 10 fathers who became fathers from the age of 65 for Enoch to 187 for Methusalah. But then you come to Noah who went for 313 years longer than Methusalah to become a father. Noah was, to the best of my knowledge, the oldest man in the Bible to become a father, and the oldest in history.

I was just barely 21 when I became a father, and the majority of people in our culture who become fathers do so in their 20's or 30's. But here was Noah who lived 500 years before he became a father, and each of his 3 boys lived to nearly 100 before they became fathers. The end result of all this late fatherhood was that there were no children on the ark. God is saying by His providence in this whole matter that there are times and places where children are not a good idea. They are the future, to be sure, but the ark was no place for kids, and God saw to it that there were no kids in that dangerous situation.

Today and all through history the ark and children have been linked. It is probably the number one story for children, but God prevented there being any children on the actual ark. Noah and his wife had to live for a century without grandchildren, and each of the boys had to live 3 times longer than the average father of their day without children just to keep the ark child free. It is hard to look at these facts and escape the conclusion that there are times when family planning is definitely God's will. That is what Jesus was getting at in Matt. 24:19 when he said, "How dreadful it will be in those days for pregnant women and nursing mothers." He was warning Christians not to have children just before 70 A. D. when they would have to flee the judgment of God on Jerusalem.

Like Noah, they were wise if they postponed their family until after the storm. A time of judgment is never a good time to become a father or a mother.

Noah fathered the 3 fathers who fathered the human race all over again, but on the ark he was the only father in the world. Can you imagine babies and toddlers on the ark? These little creatures will gag at the sight of good food, but then go and drink the dog's water and lick the cat. They will stick every dirty thing they can find in their mouth. With several thousand animals around it would be a full time job just in life saving prevention. God spared these 4 couples from parenthood, for on their survival the whole future depended. There is a lot we don't know, of course, about what kind of father Noah was, but we have strong evidence that Noah spent a lot of time with his family.

If you read Gen. 7:11 you will see that Noah was in the 17th day of the second month of his 600th year of life when the flood started, and in 8:14 we read that he was in the 27th day of the second month of his 601st year of life when the flood was over, and he stepped out onto dry land. That means that for 1 year and 10 days Noah was locked in with his family without monopoly, checkers, or a stereo. They were a busy family caring for their zoo, but they had plenty of time to be with each other. It was a family group of 8 people. It was the only small group in the world, but it was enough. All anyone really needs is to be a part of a small group of loving and caring people to be a healthy and happy person.

You do not have to be popular, famous, or successful in the eyes of the crowd, but you do need to be a part of a small group where you are loved and accepted, and that is what they had on the ark. Everybody in the world was in their small group supporting and encouraging one another as they rode out the world's worst storm. Now you might object that Noah had no choice in the matter. He was forced to be with his family and not off selling souvenir miniature arks to the masses who would come to see the strange sight. It was, no doubt, the tourist attraction of the world, and Noah could have made a fortune. He could have become a workaholic neglecting his family, but the evidence clearly reveals that Noah spent time with his family even before the flood forced them into the ark.

Look at these amazing facts. Noah was a great man of prayer. He is linked with Daniel and Job as the 3 great intercessors of the Old Testament, and yet he could not by prayer save a single soul outside of his 3 sons and their wives. Noah's father Lamech died just 5 years before the flood, but Noah had brothers and sisters alive, but as their oldest brother he could not persuade them to join him in the ark. He preached for over 100 years and did not win a single convert. He had tree cutters, carpenters, and helpers of all kinds, but as their boss he never won a single one by his authority.

As a preacher and a prayer warrior, and as a brother and a uncle Noah could not save a single person. All of his success in saving people was as a father. By his role as a father he saved his sons and their wives. His greatest success in life was as a father. Had he failed as a father there would have been no future. His boys were old enough to be independent of Noah, and like the rest of his family and the community could have told him to go jump in the lake. But they did not do so. They were a close family, and so we see the evidence of Noah being a father who spent time with his sons, and he won their love and loyalty.

Many fathers, when their family is grown up, realize that if they had to do it over again they would have spent more time with them. It goes so fast, and this opportunity to love the children while they are children is gone before you realize it. The wisest fathers in the world are those who somehow get an insight into the value of spending quality time with their children. Children know how much you love them in proportion to the amount of time you spend with them. H. Thompson wrote,

Look at him!

He spends time as if

He were a millionaire!

It's golden sands he heaps

Upon his children as if

They were his heirs.

Awake! Do you not know

The problems of the world await?

Whence thy puritan pride?

Work does not wait nor time or tide!

I gaze upon him to despise

But turn and envy, yea greed, and surprise.

For he spends time as if

He were a millionaire.

Here is a man who knows a good investment when he sees it. Noah invested in his boys, and the payoff was that he saved the world and became, not only the best father of his day, but the father of the future. By his fathering he made possible a future of the human race. One good father in a wicked world was all God needed to save the future of mankind. Good fathering is one of the best investments any man can make in the future. Noah could have made a fortune, and he could have had the biggest house in town. He already had the biggest boat, but he could have given his life to the acquiring of material possessions, and none of it would have made it into the future. But he invested in his children, and they became the future. All of us are a part of history because of this one father who gave time to his family.

We are not here just because of our own father. We are here because of father Noah, and because of his effectiveness as a father. Had his three boys said, "Forget it dad. We are not going to move into that stupid boat." That would have been the ultimate in birth control and zero population growth, and the end of the world without a miracle of God. But they did not say that. They joined together as a family and rod the ark into the future-our future. One good father is all it takes to have a future yet today. Invest in your children and the future will be better.

The paradox is that Noah was not the father with the large family. Three sons was not a large family in that day. He did not even have any daughters of his own. He was not unique at all in terms of the number in his family. What made him unique was that he was righteous in a wicked world. He gave his children a foundation in faith. God chose him because he would assure that the future would have people in it that worshiped Him and sought to know His will. You can give your kids everything on earth, but if you do not give them this kind of foundation in faith you can never be the best kind of father.

We can assume that Noah had many of the common experiences of fatherhood. It can often be a chore to raise kids. L. D. Stewart said a man is not really a father until he has pulled his first Lincoln log out of the toilet bowl. He had to pull an assorted variety of toys out of it, and that is part of fatherhood. But all of the things you do to save things from children and save them from themselves, are of no lasting value for the future if you do not give them a foundation of faith in God. Without an eternal perspective there is no ultimate future.

Noah was a great role model for his children, for he was able to be the only man alive who remained faithful to God when his whole culture was calling him a fool. That had to be hard, but he stood fast and did not conform to the world for the sake of making it easier for his family. The boys were likely teased by other kids in the neighborhood. They were the non-conformists in their culture. It would have been tempting to back away and tell God you could not build the ark because it was too much pressure on the family. But Noah obeyed God whatever the cost. "Let the world laugh and humiliate us, we are going to do the will of God." This was his attitude, and by it he saved his family. Had they had a different kind of father they would have perished with the rest of the world.

Here was a father who put God first in his life. He chose to be a miserable minority going against the grain. His boys probably did complain at times that it was very difficult to put up with the mockery. Noah had to do a lot of encouraging to keep them faithful. This is the hard part of fatherhood-the keeping children committed to God's way when the world says it is folly. But a good father is one who does not go by what is popular, and what the polls say, but by what God says. He made it clear to his family that God's will was always first for that family, and whatever the cost, that was the way they would live. May God help each of us fathers have this kind of commitment so that our children always know where we stand, and commit themselves to carry this faith into the future. Noah was the father of the future of all of us, but all of us fathers are the fathers of the future of our children and generations to come until God ends history with the coming of His Son to begin eternity.

 

 

 

 

 

3. A FATHER'S FEARS Based on Judges 13:1-13, 24

According to the Guiness Book of Records the last Emperor of Morocco, Moulay Ismail, who lived 100 years from 1627 to 1727 was reported to have fathered 548 sons and 340 daughters for a grand total of 888. He would, no doubt, say amen to the brief poem of Wilhelm Busch, "Becoming a father is easy enough, but being one can be rough."

This may be true for many and even most, but that fact is, fatherhood is not easy for a large number of men in the Bible, and in our contemporary world. We tend to think of the mothers who can't have children, and we say poor Sarah, poor Rebekah, and poor Rachel. This is legitimate compassion for these barren women, but seldom to never do we hear the same compassion for Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Abraham is the most famous father in all of history, but he could not become a father for decades. The husbands of barren women we now know may be the ones who are infertile. But regardless of the cause, it is just as hard to be a non-father as to be a non-mother.

We have many records of this in our day. Tom Holman, a clinical psychologist, wrote an article entitled Becoming A Father The Hard Way. Not only was he infertile, but his wife had endometriosis and was forced to have an hysterectomy. After years of trying they both had to give up their dream, but they couldn't let it die. They finally flew to India where a 4 year-old girl Sumi was placed in their care, and they became parents. Doctors, lawyers, pastors, professional people, and blue-collar people of all kinds are going through the struggle every day to make their dreams of parenthood come true. It is seldom seen, however, as a father's struggle.

Michel Robinson, a teacher and associate editor of Nurturing News: A Quarterly Forum For Nurturing Men, writes about his wife's miscarriage. All of their friends used him as a mere conduit through which messages were forwarded to his wife, as if the loss was only hers, and he was a mere observer. It was a miscarriage of his fatherhood as well, but nobody saw his loss, and nobody felt his sorrow and anger. This is going on everyday around the world, and we are all guilty of being insensitive to a father's battle to become a father. We want to look at the father of the strongest man whoever lived in this message. He was Manoah the father of Samson. His wife was sterile and he had to live with a dying dream and the fear that he would never get the chance to be a father. But God intervened and promised he would have a son who was to be a very unique son. No sooner is this biggest battle won and his fatherhood guaranteed when we see Manoah expressing a second fear of fathers.

I. THE FEAR OF FAILURE.

The son is only a promise, but already Manoah is filled with anxiety. He is overcome by his inadequacy to be a father. In verse 8 he cries out in prayer, "O Lord, I beg you, let the man of God you sent to us come again to teach us how to bring up the boy who is to be born." This was pre-Dr. Spock days, and nobody had a book on the market on how to raise a miracle baby as a Nazarite. Manoah was feeling pre-father panic, for he had no idea of how to be a father. This is a common fear of fathers. Most new fathers know more about a car than a child. Being a father is so much trial and error, and there are no erasers.

D. L. Stewart in Fathers Are People Too says that they teach you in high school how to find the square root of pi, but not how to find the key to the bathroom when your wife is out and your 3 year old is locked inside with the water running under the door. In college they teach you how to put together a term paper on 18th century journalism, but nobody teaches you how to put together a 10 speed bike as your 12 year old stands there expecting dad to know everything. It is natural for fathers to fear failure, for you can be a good man, a great man, and even a godly man, and still not know much of anything about raising a child. Manoah was a man of God, but his godliness did not give him confidence. He felt a desperate need for instruction. Here is a father to be who is the hungriest father I know of in all the Bible for knowledge and wisdom concerning how to raise his son to fulfill the role God had for his life.

His fear of failure was not a defect, but it was an asset that motivated him to seek for answers. His fear of failure was a big factor in his being a successful father. It is not only okay, it is wonderful to feel inadequate and fearful as a father if it moves you, like it did Manoah, to seek for help in raising your child. Notice in verse 12 that he asks the Angel of the Lord what is to be the role for the boy's life and work. Here's a father that recognizes that he plays a major role in what his sons future will be. He wanted to know what to do to fulfill God's will for his son.

In the history of the Presidents of the U. S. we have the unique record of a father who prayed and labored, and made many sacrifices for the sake of his son that he might rise to a place of importance. On the night of Aug. 2, 1923 this father woke his son in the night to inform him that President Warren Harding had died and that he was to now become the new President. Calvin Coolidge wrote of this event: "My wife and I at once dressed. Before leaving the room I knelt down and, with the same prayer with which I have since approached the altar of the church, asked God to bless the American people and give me power to serve them."

He at once examined the Constitution and discovered that his father as a notary republic was qualified to administer the oath of office. And so in a small farm house room lit with a flickering kerosene lamp with only his wife and a senator Dole, who happened to be only a few miles away, Calvin Coolidge was sworn in as President of the United States by his father. He wrote, "I do not know of any other case in history where a father has administered to his son the qualifying oath of office which made him the chief magistrate of a nation." He was a unique father indeed, and he died 3 years later with his son in office. There are parallels with Manoah, for he was the key person who prepared Samson for his role as leader of Israel. If you read the whole story, you see the personal interest Manoah showed in Samson all through his life. He also died while Samson was in office. Judges 16:31 says that after Samson led Israel for 20 years he was brought back and buried in the tomb of Manoah his father.

Here is one of the great father-son stories of history. As a sidelight it is a of interest to note that in that same verse of 16:31 that Samson had brothers, and so once there was a breakthrough Manoah and his wife had a good size family. Fear in moderation is a motivation that helps fathers become what God wants them to be. Fathers should fear they will not know how to raise their children right. This motivates them to read, listen, and seek for wisdom to do so.

Almost all fathers fail to praise their children enough. We tend to be the disciplinarians and so we develop the eagle eye for what they do wrong, and we neglect seeing what they do right. How often do you catch your children doing something right and then reward them with praise? If you seldom catch them doing something right, you will all to often catch them doing something wrong. We do not have a record of how Manoah raised Samson, but we know Samson was never to drink alcohol of any kind, and so Manoah had to be an example to his son.

I read a true but terrible story of a father who had to witness the scene of his daughter's death in car accident in which she had been driving after drinking. He was so angry that he wanted to kill the person who gave his daughter alcohol.

When he got home he went to get a drink himself and found a note from his daughter instead of his bottle. It said, "I know you would want me to have a good time tonight daddy, so I borrowed your bottle." The do what I say and not what I do formula is not very effective. Your children will become what you are, and not what you say. Manoah's fear of failure to raise his son properly made him become the example that his son needed.

Ten thousand young people die each year in alcohol related accidents, and many thousands more take their lives because of alcohol. These terrible statistics can be traced to the fact that too many fathers do not have enough fear of failure in raising their children. Manoah was no perfect father, and his son was far from a perfect son. He was a major problem to his parents and his God, but the fact is, he did fulfill his major purpose in God's plan because he had a father who cared desperately that he fulfill that plan. His fear of failure made him more successful as a father. Next we see that he had to face the most dreaded fear of all fathers-

II. THE FEAR OF FREEDOM.

I do not know how strong Samson was as a boy. Maybe he was taking Manoah down in arm wrestling when he was only 4. But the real problems began when Samson became old enough to make his own decisions about life. This is really scary when children come to the age of freedom, and you loose control over their lives. The best of fathers face this with fear, for their sons and daughters are then free to make the biggest mistakes of their lives.

Samson had excellent parents and good godly training, but we read in chapter 14 that he impulsively fell in love with a young Philistine woman, and he wanted her for his wife. They tried to reason with him and point out all the young girls among his own people, and how foolish it was to seek a mate among the uncircumcised Philistines, but it was all in vain. He wanted this girl and no one else. Fathers and mothers have to endure this kind of scene over and over as their children fall in love with people they would not choose. Seldom can a father accept right away the free choices of his children to marry people that seem to be unfit for their child's mate.

R. G. Le Torneau in his famous autobiography God Runs My Business told of how his father was opposed to his getting involved with Evelyn Peterson. They met in Sunday School and liked each other. His father came right out and said, "Look here, my lad, that girl is not for you." Her father was equally opposed to the relationship. After several years of hassle these two lovebirds took matters into their own hands and eloped. They went to Mexico and got married. Their fathers tried to get the marriage annulled, but they could not do so, for it was perfectly legal. It took 6 years before there was reconciliation.

Robert and Evelyn went on to have 5 boys and 1 girl. One of their boys died at 4 months, and another as a young man. But their family made one of the biggest impacts on American Christianity of any family in our history, and the impact goes on yet today. The point is, fathers can be totally opposed to the free choices of their children, but it is wise to see that once a free choice is made, parents need to cooperate with their children, for it could be God's will even if it seems like a mistake to you. That is what chapter 14 says of Samson's seemingly stupid choice for a wife. God willed it for judgment on the Philistines. Manoah hated it, but we see him going with Samson and cooperating in the decision.

I have known of Christian fathers who have rejected their child for marrying someone they did not approve of. I cannot see any biblical basis for this. The Christian father always has an obligation to love his child and work with them to bring good out of any situation. It is frightening that a child has the freedom to choose to follow a foolish path in life. It is terrible that a father has to give up control and let them be free to do so. A child can use their freedom to do all sorts of stupid and sinful things, but a wise father will not let his fear of freedom make him forget that he also has freedom as to how he will respond to choices he feels are foolish. God chose to respond to the foolish use of freedom by His children by providing a way for them to be forgiven and restored to His fellowship.

Manoah choose to respond to Samson's unwise choice by maintaining fellowship with him, and 14:10 says that he went down to see the woman. He was open to cooperation even though he did not life what was happening. Many parents face this choice. To fight the free choice of their children, or to cooperate to try and make the best out of a situation they do not approve of. This is the wise way, for it keeps the door open to let God work for good even in the most negative settings. Parents need to remember that when a child makes a bad decision they are still free to make other good decisions.

Chapter 14 reveals that Samson was a very thoughtful and caring son even as they traveled to see the woman he wanted to foolishly marry. He scooped honey out of the caress of a lion and shared it with his parents. There was a good and harmonious relationship even though Samson was doing what they hated. Manoah was a father who did not demand one hundred per cent to be pleased with his son. Samson made some bad choices with his freedom, but he also made some good ones, and Manoah was pleased with the good ones.

Mark Giorgino tells of the father who reminded his son of the best Father's Day gift he ever gave him. It was when the son was 10 years old and his father was in the store. The son picked up some cigars and stuffed them in his pocket. The father said, "I knew you had no money and I felt bad when I realized you were going to run out of the store without paying. But then I saw you pull out the cigars and put them back. The next day you stayed out playing all day because you had no gift for Father's Day. You thought I would be hurt, but you were wrong. When you put those cigars back and decided not to steal, you gave me the best present I ever received from you.

Freedom is a fearful thing, but it is also the most delightful thing, for it is by freedom that good is chosen as well as evil. Samson made some bad choices in life, but he also made some good ones that accomplished God's purpose in Israel. A good father may fear the freedom of his children, but he should also treasure it and keep in a good relationship with his children so that their freedom can always be a potential asset as well as a liability. The Prodigal's father never shut the door to his foolish son, even though he used his freedom for folly. The result was that the Prodigal also used his freedom to come home and make good choices that led to happiness for both father and son.

Conrad Hilton, the multimillionaire of Hilton Hotel fame, tells in his autobiography of over sleeping one morning and waking up to hear his father saying to his mother, "Mary, I do not know what will become of Connie. I'm afraid he will never amount to anything. He'll sleep his life away." Hearing of his father's fears concerning him threw a fear into him, and he seldom over slept again for the rest of his life. He learned to enjoy work like his father did. It took him some years, but he came to the point where he understood his father's concern for him that often made him resentful. But he did come to that point, and that is why fathers and sons need to be like Manoah and Samson. They need to agree to disagree where they differ, and not let the lines of communication go dead.

People who want one hundred per cent or nothing will usually get nothing. They expect more than God does. They have over reacted to the fear of failure and the fear of freedom. They refuse to accept the reality of failure and freedom, and the result is they guarantee the very things they most dread. Manoah gives us a wiser example. He feared failure and freedom like all fathers, but he faced his fears and decided that no matter how real they were he would not let them rob him of his freedom to go on relating to his son in love, no matter what. The result was that Manoah and Samson were a father and son team who lived together and lie buried together-united in life and in death, and this in spite of differences and a father's fears.

 

 

 

 

 

4. A SUPPORTIVE FATHER Based on Judges 13:1-14, 24

Tal Bonham writes about how one night he slipped a poster under the doors of each of his two teenage sons. The poster said-

Attention teenagers!

If you are tired of being hassled by

Unreasonable parents,

Now is the time for action!

Leave home and pay your own way

While you still know everything.

His boys got the message, and they all had a good laugh. It is a common fantasy of parents, however, to dream of the day when the kids are all grown up and able to leave the home and make it on their own. Bonham tells of finding the essay on When The Kids Finally Leave Home. He does not know the original author, but he added some of his own thoughts, and this is what he wrote: "Some day when the kids finally leave home, things are going to be a lot different around our house. The garage won't be cluttered with bicycles and garbage bags on their way to trash cans. I'll be able to park both cars in just the right places and never again stumble over skateboards, a bag of rabbit food, and egg shells from the garbage bags that someone forgot to tie."

"Some day when the kids finally leave home the kitchen will be incredibly neat. The sink will stay free of dirty dishes. The garbage disposal won't get clogged up with rubber bands, paper clips, or a stray spoon. The refrigerator won't be crowded with 4 cartons of milk-all opened and half used. We won't loose the tops of jelly jars or catsup bottles anymore. The honey will stay inside the container, and no one will wonder again what's going to explode next in the microwave oven." He goes on like this for 8 more paragraphs and ends up feeling lonely for the kids who have finally left home.

In a nut shell the essay is saying that you can't live with them, and you can't live without them. Kids have always been costly to raise, and not just in money, but in nervous energy. Imagine what it must have been like to raise Samson, who was a giant size Dennis the Menace. Manoah, the father of Samson, was a typical father even though he had the most non-typical son in the Old Testament. Samson was the strongest man in history, and so I suppose he was taking poor Manoah down in arm wrestling by the time he was 6 or 7. I remember that is when I realized I was not young anymore when my son could take me in arm wrestling. Before that I was the big daddy and sons were merely kids to play with. But when they get stronger than you, you know they are no longer kids.

I don't know when this happened to Manoah, but it would be a shock to have a pre-teen beat you. So Manoah had a unique child who was one of a kind when it came to strength. But he had all the typical battles of the typical father that we want to examine for it can be a comfort and a challenge to see the battles he faces in fatherhood. His first battle was the battle of-

I. INFERTILITY.

This is a common battle in the Bible and in our contemporary world. All of the fathers of Israel had this battle-Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Millions of men today have a battle in becoming fathers because of their own infertility, or that of their wives. The Bible deals with this problem a lot so we can be aware and sympathetic with those who long to be mothers and fathers, but who cannot because their bodies do not function normally. In Bible times there were no fertility drugs, and so all that people could do was to pray that God would pave the way to parenthood.

Getting from being a non-father to becoming a father was often the hardest battle, and it still is. I have 2 grandchildren who are the result of a long and frustrating battle with the aid of experts. Fatherhood and motherhood are not always easy, but are the results of long and agonizing battles. It is important that we recognize this and not assume that anyone can become a parent if they so choose. Manoah's wife was sterile, and he never would have been a father but by the grace of God. Fatherhood is a gift of God. Samson himself never received this gift. He had a wife briefly, and he had a number of lovers, but there is no record of any child. He is one of the greats of faith in Heb. 11, but never a father. This is a comforting message to those who never become fathers, because it means they can still be great people of faith. The second battle he had was more universal. It is the battle of-

II. INFERIORITY.

As soon as he got the word that he was to be a father he went to God with a prayer of passion in verse 8. "O Lord, I beg you, let the man of God you sent to us come again to teach us how to bring up the boy who is to be born." The thought of the responsibility of raising a son made Manoah feel like a man trying to thread a needle while wearing boxing gloves. He didn't have a clue on what to do as a father. He felt totally inadequate and inferior. He knew that babies come without a set of instructions, and so he is begging God to give him some guidance before the baby comes. Here is your typical father who feels totally unprepared for the task of being a father.

Fathers feel this inferiority more than mothers because they do not have any conspicuous natural relationship to the child. Mom has the built in breast- feeding, and so she has the natural hugging and cuddling instinct to begin with, but poor dad has to learn everything from scratch, and so his first prayer is HELP! There is good reason for the feeling of inferiority, for the fact is, nobody knows for sure how to be the ideal father. There are some basics to have a shot at it, but anything is possible in a world of free-willed beings like we are. The Bible reveals every possibility in the genealogy of Jesus in Matt. 1:7-8.

1. Rehoboam the father of Adijah. This is a bad father begetting a bad son.

2. Abijah begat Asa. This is a bad father begetting a good son.

3. Asa begat Jehoshaphat. This is a good father begetting a good son.

4. Jehoshaphat begat Joram. This is a good father begetting a bad son.

The point is that fathers can do all that is right and their sons can turn out to be rebels. Or they can do all that is wrong and their sons can turn out to be saints. There is no necessary connection between what a person is and how his parents did at parenting. Dr. Dobson stresses this over and over because he sees so much unnecessary guilt in parents with rebel children, and a lot of pride in others do not deserve it, for they were no better parents than those with the rebels.

The father of the Prodigal Son was an ideal father, for he represented God. But the fact is, neither of his boys earned any merit badges for being great sons.

Each was worse than the other in different areas of life, but dad loved them both. This is the bottom line, and Manoah learned this key lesson. He loved Samson even though he did not always agree or approve of his behavior. God never did send the angel back to give him a plan on how to raise his son, but he did become a good father. Samson was something of a rebel, but he always came to dad for help. He loved and respected his father and wanted his approval even when he was going to marry a Philistine girl. This incident leads us to look at the third battle Manoah fought.

III. INCAPABILITY.

That is the inability to know what is best for your child because you don't know what God's plan is for their life. In chapter 14 Samson comes to dad and mom telling them he has to have this Philistine girl for his wife, and he wants their help. They, of course, are as shocked as you would be if your son came home and announced that he wanted to marry a Hindu Gypsy. In verse 3 they try to argue him out of this foolishness. They say, "Isn't there an acceptable woman among your relatives or among all our people? Must you go to the uncircumcised Philistines to get a wife?"

All parents assume they know what is the best type of mate for their children, and often they are right, but in this case God had a special plan for Samson, and he wanted this marriage to be arranged. In verse 4 we read, "His parents did not know that this was from the Lord, who was seeking an occasion to confront the Philistines." God has plans for children that dads are incapable of knowing, and the result is that dads often fight the will of God for their children. Monoah did for a while, but he decided to go along with Samson's wishes when he could not be talked out of it.

This is a very touchy area of fatherhood. How do you know when to give in to a child's independence and let them choose their own direction? This is very hard for fathers to do, and many of a father has failed here because of their incapability of understanding that God's plan differs from their own dreams. Take the father of Leslie Fallan for example. He is the wealthy owner of a West Coast drugstore chain. When his daughter Leslie chose to earn a master's degree in art history he was furious. "What a waste," he shouted at her. "What money is there in that?" She began to write articles about Los Angeles opera, ballet, and symphony. She finally got a by-line on the front page of the Times. She was ecstatic and phoned her father to share the good news. All he could ask her was, "How much did they pay you?"

Free-lance writers do not get much, but she was thrilled to get this front- page scoop. Her father's obsessions with money as the only thing that mattered caused her to hang up and never call him again. Leslie went on to write 4 books, hundreds of articles, and she became a success in her chosen field. But she has never talked to her father since that day of his rejection of her choice of professions. His failure to be supportive made him a failure as a father. This kind of foolishness is more common than you would ever dream. The world is filled with successful people who have no relationship with their father because dad did not like their choice. Manoah did not like Samson's choice either, but he was wise enough not to ruin their relationship over it.

Our heavenly Father does not slam the door on us and say to never return if you are going to make that stupid decision. He keeps the door open always no matter how many foolish things we choose, for He is ready at all time to welcome the Prodigal home and celebrate that return. God does not say, as so many fathers do, choose my way or we are through. The father loved both the Prodigal Son and the self-righteous elder son. They were both failures as persons, and they made terrible choices, but dad never shut the door on either of them. That is being a successful father. It is being one who loves his kids no matter how many choices they make that he does not like. Edgar Guest has always been one of my favorite poets, but sometimes poetry can be very superficial, as in the case of his poem on the successful father. It is true and relevant to millions, but it assumes that if your child is not in an honored place that you are not successful.

"Old man Green you've never heard of.

Papers never used a word of

Him or anything he did.

Seems as though his light was hid-

Just a carpenter who made

Odds and ends and liked his trade.

But somehow his wife and he

Managed it most faithfully

And with what small sum he earned

Many things his children learned.

"Those Green boys," the teachers said,

"Have the stuff to get ahead."

That is all there is to tell,

Boys and girls are doing well.

Each with courage and with grace

Fills in life and honored place.

This the old man's praise, if needed,

"As a father he succeeded."

The fact is, the father of the Prodigal and elder son was a great success, as was Manoah, because they loved their sons when they were not in honored places, but despised places, and making choices that were not approved. Any dad can love his kids when they are choosing just what he desires that they choose. The real heroes are those fathers who go on loving and helping their children when they are making, what is to them, all the wrong choices.

In chapter 14 we are told that Manoah went with Samson to see the girl he chose. He did not say, "Go ahead if you must and marry this Gentile dog, but don't expect me to ever gaze on her face." I know Christian fathers who have said this kind of thing, and they cut themselves off from their children and grandchildren. Somewhere they got the idea that fathers are people who get their own way or they don't play the game. This is not wise fatherhood. When Manoah could not persuade Samson to change his mind he said, "Okay, I'll support you in your choice and help you make it work." Bad choices can still work out if people love and cooperate. Many marriage fail because the family does all it can to fulfill their own prophecy that it won't work.

Manoah said, "I don't like it, but I'll help my son make the best of his choice." Here we see the ability of a father to be tender and loving even if he is incapable of understanding the plan of God. This is an example of love never failing. You cannot go wrong if you love, even if you don't like and don't understand what is going on. Fathers can be just as compassionate as mothers. Mothers tend to get all the credit for tender mercy, but dads can match it if they chose.

President Franklin Roosevelt had a son named Elliot who often provoked his parents to acts of judgment. He wrote of one such occasion: "I remember when I did get punished. Mother use to take me to father's study, sit me down, and say, 'Franklin, this has gone far enough. You have to teach Elliot a lesson.'

After mother left, father would instruct me to yell while he beat the daylights out of his desk with a ruler. Soon mother, hearing my anguished cries, would run back in, begging father to stop." Here was a case where dad was merciful on a level that was even ahead of the mother.

Manoah was incapable of making things go his way. He was incapable of changing Samson's mind. He was incapable of knowing the will of God in this unusual situation. But the one thing he was not incapable of was the choosing to love, and this is the choice he made. That is what makes him a good and successful father. Every father is incapable in many ways, but every father is also capable of making the best choice of loving their children regardless of their choices. The battle of fatherhood never changes. Here is a description of children: "Children now love luxury, they have bad manners, contempt for

authority, they show disrespect for elders and love to chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants not slaves of the household. They no longer rise when an elder enters a room, they contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up their food at the table, cross their legs and tyrannize their teachers."

This is not a report from your local PTA, but it is the reported complaint of Socrates in 400 B. C. The battle of fatherhood has always been the same. God has had to love disobedient children from the beginning because that is the only kind there was to love. It has never been different, and never will be until the new heaven and new earth. So earthly fathers need to learn to love unlovely children to be God-like fathers. Samson made a lot of mistakes, and though he was a hero, he was also a moral failure, and sometimes downright stupid. But he had a father who never forsook him, but let him know that he was loved and supported. That is what every child needs and deserves from a father.

One of the things that has impressed me is the number of people who have told me of the long-range impact on their lives of negative remarks they received as a child. One told of being compared with her sister. "That is the pretty one," they said as they pointed to the sister. This woman felt inferior the rest of her life because of that remark. Every adult needs to recognize that children take words seriously, and you may be kidding and mean nothing by it, but if you say something negative about a child it can influence them for life. Dads especially need to be positive in the words they say to and about their children. God is to be our example. He did not say a lot to Jesus when He was on earth in the flesh, but what He did say was always positive and supportive. At His baptism the heavens opened and a voice said, "You are my Son, whom I love, with you I am well pleased." Then on the Mount of Transfiguration God spoke from the cloud, "This is my Son, whom I love. Listen to Him."

Jesus received praise and approval from His Father in heaven. This is a gift you cannot buy. John Drescher, one of the greatest authors of the 20th century, says that if he could go back and raise his children over he would be more free to express words of praise and appreciation. Children need to be scolded too, but few parents give adequate praise for the good behavior of children. Drescher writes, "Probably no other thing encourages a child to love life, to seek accomplishment, and to gain confidence more than proper, sincere praise." He says another thing that fits Manoah. Samson always saw his father and mother united and never divided. Drescher says that the number one thing a child needs to see is that dad loves mom. This gives a child a sense of security and stability they can gain in no other way. The best training you can give your child as a father is letting them see how much you love their mother. Your kindness and thoughtfulness to her will have a greater impact on them than anything else you do.

Samson is not portrayed as the best son, but his father is portrayed as a good father. In spite of his inferiority and incapability he loved Samson's mother, and he loved his son. He gave him his support, and we see that the key to being a successful father is simply being a supportive father.

 

 

 

 

 

5. FATHER AND DAUGHTER Based on Esther 2:5-11

George Barnell, a Jew living in North Carolina, back in 1871 fathered one of the most unusual daughters in Americans history. Jane Barnell grew up to become the famous Lady Olga, the bearded lady of the circus. She had a thick beard hanging 13 and a half inches, and also a large mustache. The beard started to grow when she was 2 and at 4 she was being displayed, and 65 years later she was still going strong.

When Jane was a toddler, and her father was out of town on business, her mother took her to the Great Orient Family Circus, and came home without her. When the father returned home he was frantic. He appealed to the police, and North Carolina and surrounding states were scoured, but the circus and Jane had vanished. They had gone to Europe. It was several years later in a Berlin orphanage that the father finally found her, and brought her back to the United States. She grew to adulthood on a farm where she shaved just like the young men. At 21 she was persuaded to let her beard grow and enter the circus. She did, and spent the rest of her life traveling the world as an exhibit to the curious.

The story of Mordecai and Esther is also a story of a Jewish father and daughter, but with this distinction that Esther was as unusually feminine as Jane was unusually masculine. Esther was one of the most beautiful girls that ever lived. She was the Miss Universe of her day. She was the most beautiful girl in the Persian Empire, which included most of the known world.

Our focus on this Father's Day is not upon Esther, however, but upon Mordecai. A contemporary bitter male said, "The only thoroughly masculine domain not yet invaded by women is growing a mustache." He obviously never saw Lady Olga, or the many other bearded ladies of history. The real uninvaded domain of masculinity is fatherhood. No woman can beat a man at this role, for no matter how good she is with children, she is always a good mother, and not a good father.

Mordecai was an excellent father event though there is no record of his having any children of his own. Esther was his adopted daughter. We have established in a different message that you do not have to give birth to a child to be a good mother. The same holds true for being a father, and Mordecai is proof of this. Joseph was also a good father to Jesus, even though he did not actually father Him in the sense that He was from his seed. That is the easiest part of fatherhood. The real challenge is to so love a child that it becomes a mature and balanced adult with a solid foundation of spiritual principles to guide them through life. Mordecai was this kind of father to Esther.

Most all of the Bible accounts of fathers are those who deal with fathers and sons. Here we have a rare case of a father and daughter combination. And what a combination they were! They saved Israel from destruction, and they changed the course of history. It is of interest to note the balance of the Bible where we see any combination of people can be used of God to accomplish His purpose. In the New Testament it is Mary the mother and Jesus the Son, with the father only faintly in the picture. Here in the Old Testament we see Mordecai the father and Esther the daughter, with the mother not in the picture at all. God can, and does, use any combination, for any of them can be winners.

It is important to see this, for life is complex and uncertain. There are all kinds of ideals that are best, but the fact is, they are not attained by millions. I don't know why Mary had to raise her family without Joseph, nor why Mordecai had to raise Esther without his wife. Nor do I know why there are so many other less than ideal family situations. All I know is that there is good news, for any of these less than ideal situations can be used of God for His glory, and for His purpose, and life can be full of blessings. Let's look at some examples of how Mordecai was a successful father in a less than ideal situation. He gave to Esther three things that made her a successful daughter, and him a successful father. First of all he gave her-

I. AID IN ADOPTION.

Esther was of a minority race, in a foreign land, and a pagan culture, plus she was an adopted child. Adoption can be less than the ideal simply because there are complications in the minds of adopted children. They tend to struggle with insecurity, and their self-esteem. The father is in danger of trying to protect them so much that they become over dependent. On the other hand, to so push them into independence that they feel rejected and unloved. It is a tough job maintaining just the right balance so an adopted child can feel adequately loved, and still press on to be mature and independent. This, of course, is the same battle all fathers have, but with an adopted child there is an added complexity. Blessed is the father who can provide the aid that is needed.

I have not known many adopted children, but the few I have known have all struggled to some degree with their self-image. It takes a wise father to help them see and feel that they are just as loved, and just as valuable, as their own seed. Mordecia clearly succeeded with Esther, for she was a loving daughter, and one who could be fully independent of Mordeica. She could listen and follow his guidance, and was as beautiful within as she was on the outside.

This is not to say that the father of an adopted child not turning out well is a poor father. Some of the finest fathers fail in attempting to reform a rebel. Andrew Jackson as President of the United States had to write this letter to his adopted son Andrew Jr. He was in trouble already at age 14, and by 25 he was a heavy drinker and deeply in debt. He wrote this on April 14, 1835.

"I now address you with the fondness of a father's heart.

How care then you ought to be to shun all bad company,

or to engage in any dissipation whatever and particularly

intoxication. When I reflect on the fate of your cousin

Savern, reduced to the contempt of all by his brutal

intemperance I shutter when I see any appearance of it

in any branch of our connection."

When General Jackson died he was 24 thousand dollars in debt due to his rebellious unheeding son. I do not believe he was a bad father. Mordecai may have failed with this son also. All I am saying is, that in a less than ideal situation he did succeed with Esther. She adapted to a life that was full of tragedy and sorrow as her people were carried away captive, and her parents were taken in death. We are not told if they died from violence or natural causes, but either way she was left an orphan in a foreign land. Mordecai aided her in adapting to her circumstances, and she became a beautiful well-rounded person. It would have been easy to become bitter and hateful toward the Persians. Mordecai had to teach her not to hate the Gentiles she lived among, and she did adapt and learn to love them. The second thing we see that Mordecai did for her is that he taught her the-

II. ACCEPTANCE OF AUTHORITY.

Esther became the Queen, and she had more power in the snap of her finger than Mordecai had in his whole life. He was nobody in terms of real power, and yet Esther obeyed his authority, and did not reveal that she was a Jew. Her loyalty to her father's authority is a key factor in God's providential plan to save the Jewish race. Had Mordecai failed to teach Esther to accept authority, and to be loyal to authority, the whole plan of God would not have worked out as it did.

One of the greatest tragedies of life is a father who does not win respect for his authority from his children. It is a recognized fact that a major cause of the breakdown of the American family is the loss of authority by dads. A little girl inquired, "Mommy, if the stork brings babies; if Santa brings our presents; if the Lord gives us our daily bread, and Uncle Sam our social security, what is daddy good for."

It is no joke when kids really feel this way. Colonel Farley, founder of Boy's Ranch says 90% of the youth who come to him come from homes where there was little or no influence of the father. Between 80 and 90% of the boys in Boy's Town come from the same type of home. Judge Leibowitz of Brooklyn's highest criminal court has concluded that the number one factor in criminality is failure of the father's role.

If a father does not influence his child to respect authority, the opposite is what will take place, and they will reject authority. They will tend to become problem makers in society. Diogenes the Greek was said to have stuck the father when the son swore. He was illustrating the direct influence of the father on the son. Weak influence of fathers is a major cause of weak people in all areas of life. Studies show that 94% of veterans under treatment or psychiatric reasons experienced father rejection.

We need to balance out what we are saying here by looking at the total picture revealed by the book of Esther. Strong influence of fathers is not necessarily good either. There is another father in this book by the name of Haman, who is the enemy of Mordecai. The whole book is like a Hatfields and Macoys type story, for it is about two fathers and their children who are determined to eliminate each other from the map of Persia.

Haman had all of the advantages. He had 10 sons, and Mordecai had only one daughter. Haman had position and power, and all Mordecai had was hope in the providence of God. The point I want to make here is that Haman was basically a strong father. This book reveals that he had a powerful influence on his sons, and they did respect his authority. They joined him in his battle of bigotry, and gave their lives because of their loyalty. Because evil fathers can teach their children good principles, we need to rise above the secular level to see a Christian father's duty. Doubtless, there are fathers in the Mafia, and other underworld organizations, who teach their children strong respect for authority, and they become loyal people to the cause of crime. You can't even be good at being bad without respect for authority.

We need to see, therefore, that no father has done his job well until his child respects the highest authority, which is the authority of God. Haman failed because his sons obeyed only human authority, and they were loyal to folly that was contrary to God's will. Mordecai taught Esther to respect his authority also, but his authority was based on his obedience to God's authority. We see this in chapter 4 where Esther begins to waver in her obedience to his authority. He responds by lifting her sights to a higher level, and by getting her to focus on the providence of God. In 4:14 Mordecai says, "For if you keep silence at such a time as this, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another quarter, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"

Esther was moved by this to go ahead and risk her life trusting in the providence of God. The lesson is clear: No father can be the final authority, for all fathers fall short of the glory of God. Only those fathers who give their children an ultimate foundation can be called good fathers in the biblical sense. A good father is a fallible father with faith in the infallible Father in heaven, and he passes on this faith to his children. This means a good father does not need to be uptight about his weaknesses and failures, for he does not have to pretend he is perfect and infallible. The respect for his authority is not based on its infallibility, but on his respect for the authority of God.

A Christian father needs to be honest about his own mistakes, and not try to pretend that he is always right. Joseph Bayly, the popular Christian author, has raised 7 children. He has punished them when they were innocent. He has failed to tell them he is sorry. He has inflicted pain by his ignorance. He sat one of this little boys on a log in the woods to rest. He had short pants on and there was poison ivy all around the log. You can imagine the fun dad had trying to be innocent and intelligent after that. Bayly says there is no escape from guilt. He had to travel so much when his little girl was small that when he came home she would not recognize him when he wanted to hold her. The point is, he did not need to fear that his failures would cause his 7 year old to be out pushing sweet old ladies in front of cement mixers. They were taught that human authority is to be respected in so far as it conformed to God's authority, as revealed in His Word. this is the goal of all who would be truly successful fathers. The final value we see imparted by this first rate father is-

III. ABUNDANCE OF ATTENTION.

Note verse 11 where the text says that every day Mordecai checked on Esther to see how she was doing. Not every weekend, or every month, but every day. She is a married woman, and she is the Queen of the Persian Empire, yet Mordecai does not let a day go by without letting her know he is concerned. This gives us a strong hint as to the kind of father he was. He was an available father. In our busy world nobody seems to have enough time to do all that should be done, and the result is fathers are often not available to their children.

Children , by their very nature, are not interested in doing what matters for even the long run, let alone eternity. They specialize in the trivial and the transient. In other words, kids love to do what is a waste of time. That is contrary to adult intelligence. We cannot waster time, and so we are always trying to make all time count. The fact is, it is very biblical, for we are told to redeem the time. The problem is that we become legalists, and we forget that Jesus also taught we must become as little children. There is a time to waste time. That is, we must learn to enjoy doing things like children love, which are very momentary fun as an end in itself.

I must confess that I have struggled with this for years, and even as I preach it, I do not always practice it. I am conditioned by the philosophy that we must try to kill two birds with one stone, and make every moment count. Don't waste time, or time will waste you. I still believe these things, but more and more I realize that it is an error to fail to balance this thinking with a childlike love for the enjoyment of the present. Jesus had time in His short life, and even shorter ministry, to enjoy living. He had times of fun, fellowship, laughter and song. He took time out from healing and preaching to go fishing. We always miss the boat when we take our eyes off Jesus, and push any truth to an extreme.

This comes home to you when you read that Boswell, the famous biographer of Samuel Johnson, who said he would never forget the day his father took time out of his bush schedule to take him fishing. It is a highlight of his life, and he learned so much. Boswell's father kept a diary, and when he died it was found, and that day that meant so much to his son had this entry in it. "Gone fishing today with my son; a day wasted."

Maybe it was wasted in the sense that he got nothing done, but if getting nothing done is what it takes to be available to your child, and make them feel your attention and care, then nothing is what needs to be done. This is not the kind of nothing that Aristotle defines when he said that nothing is what rocks dream of. That is really nothing, but the nothing of wasting time with your child is really something. It is an investment in the future. A father who cares enough to waste time for his child's sake will produce a child who will redeem the time for God's sake.

Availability is the key to being a good dad. One daughter tells of an interesting thing her father did as she was growing up, and he was her only parent. When she started school he gave her a dime and said, "Patty, I want you always to keep this dime in your purse. Anytime you need me, you call the plant. Tell them you want to talk to your dad, and I guarantee they will let you right through." Many years later she wrote, "There is no way I could tell you what that ten cent piece from my father meant. Even when I didn't need him, just to know I had it in my purse made me feel secure." Little things can help your child feel secure because they give them that sense of access to your care and concern.

This is what Mordecai did for Esther. He made it clear that he was always available. So often you read of a father, or see one playing the role on television, who gets a phone call for a business obligation just as the family is ready to go on vacation. So often they choose the business obligation rather than the family obligation, and the family feels that they are always secondary. Mordecai may have had many other things to do, but he made contact every day with Esther. She knew he was always available. He wanted to know how she was. A father needs to be informed about his children. When dad knows what is going on in the life of his child, that child feels loved. A study found that a high percentage of children do not even know what their father does for a living. This indicates very poor communication between fathers and children. Too many fathers feel they cannot waste time by being available to their children.

A group of 300 7th and 8th graders kept accurate records of just how much time dad spent with them over a two week period. The average came out to only 7 and a half minutes per week. Many only saw their father at the supper table, and many did not see him at all for days at a time. One of the best gifts any dad can give a child is what Mordecai gave to Esther. It is sometime every day showing them attention. Mordecai did it for his daughter who was a grown woman. How much more is it needed for those still in childhood. M